The reason I won't choose, I've always said,was because there's no way of knowing for certain. How did something come from nothing? Why/ how is there consciousness? How can we explain certain paranormal occurrences? These are the questions that keep me wondering and keep me from 'giving up the dream.' In fact it was that very term that triggered something in me, yes it was a dream in the sense that I wanted there to be more, it was a longing for a majestical awakening- a sign of something extra after we die, a place where consciousness is separate from the physical body. So although as i've outlined I won't commit to disbelief because of those unanswered questions I also don't want there to be nothing either.
Now once I admitted that to myself, I'm left with the unsavoury feeling that I am no longer completely unbiased by emotion. Maybe I have over looked certain aspects so that my unanswered questions remain that way, maybe I put more weight in circular arguments than I should have, would have, before I became someone who wants there to be something rather than someone who is completely indifferent.
That being said I hope my desires would never cause me to be ignorant of the facts, because although it would be a wonderful idea for there to be a spiritual, magical realm, it does none of us any good to believe it baselessly.